megasourousrex

Happy St Patty's Day!!!

well life has been pretty good lately.
me and joey have a nice place in struthers. we are happy and doing so well.
finally got a car :)
got two jobs to make sure we get by. its hard, but its good money so it will work out.

i finally have everything that i have been wanting for so long,
we are going to Virginia for his brothers wedding soon.
i cant wait til its my turn.
i mean i kinda feel like all my friends are growing up & starting
there families and im kinda standing still...
idk even joey has a one-up on my cause he has 2 lil boys.
but im sure i will have all that soon :)

so much has happened since this year has started that it is just to much to type,
so heres a fast forward
left ex
moved in with grandma
grandma left for flordia
moved in with friend
friends girlfriend kicked me out
moved in with mom
mom sets too many rules
mom & me fight
mom kicks me out
moved in with dad **
life going good
fight w/stepmom defending dads new gf
dads mad
leaves girlfriend
kicks me out....
hoping from couch to couch
go see joey
fall for joey
move in with joey
happiness happiness happiness happiness

**=started talking to joey ♥

so there you have it...my 2011 in a nutshell

"well i swear it to you and to god  that we have been down this raod before.
the guilts no good and it only shames us more
and the truths that we all try to hide
are so much clearer when its not our lives
we dont face the blame.
now my bodies on the floor and im calling.
im calling out to you. can you hear me now??"
                                        =framing hanley-hear me now

my life is like a dryer set on tumble.
i cant seem to find which way is up.
i have an amazing guy in my life but there is so much i wish was different.
i wish he didnt drink so much, didnt smokw so much,
was around more...but it dosnt seem to matter to him.

last night was the big fight we both knew was coming...
he said that he wanted me to move out for a little so he could see
how things go and if it would work out.
that was the worst thing i think he could of said.
i agreed to what he had said and told him i would pack my shit and
be out before he got home from work today.
while i was sitting here this morning trying to find someone to help me pack
he called me apologizing telling me to he wants me to stay.
that he cant imagine waking up next to anyone else...
but i cant seem to tell if it is the truth or just an excuse for him to not to be alone.

since me and him have been fighting and such
i have been talking to a friend of mine and ended up crashing at his house
the other night to avoid a huge fight at home.
hes really sweet and cute.
he listens to me and wctually wants me around
now i am at a cross in my life and i dont know what to do...

i just wish someone could help me figure it all out...

more bad news on top of all this was the death of my best friend brittney betts and
her unborn son anthony micheal betts.
she got hit by a drunk driver...
she passed away on 4-3-10
i love and miss her <3

why are men so dumb? i swear they are worse then children.
not happy with you or without.
my ex john is threatening my current bf because i dont want to be with
him..
two good things about this is he will either a) get arrested or b) get
his dumb ass kicked out of the army...but that means im stuck with him.
i figured he would get the point that i didnt want him when i told him my bf
proposed last saturday but no that just made it worse.

blahh..i dont want to grow up anymore. i have til Dec 6 to find a place to live
it sucks so bad. might just see if my bfs mom will take me in.
lets hope so

So it is day number  6 of my visit to my dads and it is going a lot better than i thought it would.
The first couple of days were HELL but now me and my step mom are actually getting along.
(if you knew the way she was then you would understand how hard that is for me and her.)
Those first days were bad cause she would pick at every little thing, like the fact that i
dyed my hair black and that i wear make-up (she thinks that because she dont wear it, i shouldn't either.)
I know its dumb but thats how she thinks..

So me and marc broke up on Saturday. I mean we broke up a couple weeks before
but got back together on my bday. That was the best gift of all. =]
But he left me again...go figure. He says it is because we fight all the time but idk!?
We have been talking and he just wants to be friends right now.
There are two other guys in my life right now too.

so only three months and a couple days til my birthday.
then i am 17...so excited <33
<big smiles>
: ]

so its been an amazing road with my boyfriend.
god i love him so much. he is the most amazing guy i could ever
imagine being with.

its the second week of school and im tired of it already...
i mean my classes are pretty cool this year and really easy but its running
me down so much. between that and marching band i never think ill be able
to bounce back.
this friday will be our third game and its against Riverside High School.
we lost our first game to center 8 to 38...it was really bad but we game
back with our first home game against New Brighton and won 51 to 6...it was
good game.

well peace out
girl scout

so only five months and two days left.
then i am 17 be-otch <33
heck yes.
only a year, five months, and two days till i move out of this hell hole i am stuck in.
so excited. (as she giggles like a two year old)!!

so my current relationship has been nothing but AMAZING of course.
i have been so happy...which if you know me is very rare for me when it comes to dating.
he is the best boyfriend i could ever have!

my life has been pretty good too.
i have been reconecting with my sister and we have been chillin everyday for like a week.
me and her are going to Pittsburgh tomorrow to go to Carnegie Museum.
after i moved out of my dads me and her drifted apart.
but its so good to have my sis back.

so my boyfriends friend nick is in town from cali...
which is okay i guess but usually ends badly.
the only reason he has been trying to chill with me is cause he thinks marc
is going to be okay with me and him hooking up.
i mean hes cute and everything but come on i am not a slut.
and thats just weird i mean they are best friends.

so me and my dad are talking a little more and i have been seeing him more since i have been going to get my sis.
and me and step mom are cool now.
me and her have never really gotten along.
and i now thats like a typical thing for step-parents and step-kids
but me and her have had a really rough run but she is actually trusting me and my sis
and is letting me do more.
but me and my mom are still not talking.
i sent a letter to my friends house to give to her but when she wrote back she didnt give
an address to write back to...so dumb.
and i so refuse to talk to her on the phone anymore because all she does is bitch and yell at me.
she is just trying to get me to hate my dad so i will go back to her
but why would i want to go live with someone who gave me up and left me for almost 5 years.
its so dumb but i just dont want me to try to trust her and have her leave again.

so its been about three years and eight months since Alexandra passed and it just seems to get harder.
me and her were best flippin friends since i was four and she was six.
she past away January of 2005.


well peace.
gonna go get crunk. lo

school starts back up on August 25...
so not looking forward to waking up at
6 am every morning. but on the other
hand it will get me out of the hell i call
my house.

marching band practice starts on
August 4. the show this year is going to
be songs by Bon Jovi. we have rookie camp
tonite (its this get together of all the new
members and of the leaders so that we
can "help them" get used to the band). But
us older kids just end up trying to find ways to
tourture the hell out of the new-bees.

im so happy. this sunday is two months for
me and my boyfriend. <33


=]

= ]

life can have its ups and its downs...
lately its been a mix of both...

ups
summer vacation
new boyfriend

downs
overprotective dad
drama
no money $
i have not seen my mom in 5 months


i have come to learn that shit happens and i have to try to get through it as best as i can...

-so i just found out that my ex boyfriend got out of jail last week. and to make things worse, he is back in town and has been watching me for the past 2 months. me and him have had a rough past but he thinks that we have a future. i keep telling him that i dont want him but every time i do he tries to come after me and tries to hit me.